"I'm still not used to not having her around," said Hightower, 48. "Sometimes I'll hear keys in the door and expect to see her walk in. Sometimes I'll be in bed and expect her to come running in and jump on me and tell me she loves me."
In recent interviews with The Associated Press, the parents of the victims of the Aug. 4, 2007, attack spoke for the first time about the difficult grieving process and their efforts to stem violence in New Jersey's largest city. They are banding together with the parents of other slain children with the goals of further reducing shootings, providing support to suffering families and giving young people a better understanding of violence's lasting impact.
The killings galvanized a city long accustomed to senseless violence.
The four college students were hanging out on the bleachers behind Mount Vernon School in the Ivy Hill neighborhood when they were approached by six young men with reputed links to the MS-13 street gang. The six were armed with a handgun and machete.
Three of the victims - Iofemi Hightower, 18-year-old Terrance Aeriel and 20-year-old Dashon Harvey - were forced to kneel in front of a wall and were fatally shot in the back of their heads. A fourth young woman, who survived, was shot in the head and sexually molested, according to prosecutors.
As the case moves toward trial, Hightower has repeatedly gone to the courtroom to hear testimony. Aeriel's father, Troy Bradshaw, is often there too, seeking an answer to the same question: How could this happen to my child?
"I need to know what happened," said Bradshaw. "I just have to know."
Many people said it was the kind of crime that would change things forever in Newark. The number of shootings and homicides did drop, but senseless violence continues.
"I'm not going to let my daughter be just another statistic," Hightower said. "I'm fighting for change on her behalf."
Bradshaw, a 39-year-old baggage handler at Newark Liberty International Airport, said he wants to help stop violence in Newark.
"I want some of the young people out there to stop and think before they do something and realize that they don't want to put a family through this kind of pain," Bradshaw said.
The suspects, Rodolfo Godinez, 25, of Newark; Shahid Baskerville, 17, of Morristown; Alexander Alfaro, 18, of Newark; Gerardo Gomez, 16, of Newark; Melvin Jovel, 19, of Elizabeth; and Jose Lachira Carranza, 30, of Orange, were indicted Sept. 15 on murder, attempted murder, robbery, conspiracy and weapons offenses.
A grand jury also indicted Carranza and Baskerville for aggravated sexual assault.
Each pleaded not guilty. Their cases are expected to come to trial in the fall.
Bradshaw said it's difficult to see the suspects in court.
"There's a part of me that wants to go behind that partition every time I see them with their smug smiles," Bradshaw said. "But I need to hear what happened."
Hightower and Bradshaw have joined an exclusive group called "Men Against Murdering Our Children," which currently has 10 members, all of whom have lost a child to violence. The group was organized by Sam Nash, who lost a 25-year-old son to street violence in May 2007.
The group, which provides both financial and emotional support to parents, is poised for growth and is changing its name to include women.
Hightower hopes to counsel and comfort grieving parents. She said the psychological counseling she received from trained professionals provided little immediate comfort. It wasn't until she met Nash, Hightower said, that things started to turn around for her.
"If you haven't buried a child you can't possibly tell me what it's like," Hightower said. "You will never know and you will never understand."
The schoolyard slayings still strike a chord like no other, even in the roughest Newark neighborhoods, according to Nash. The burly 54-year-old attributes it to the outrageous nature of the attack and peaceful nature of its victims. They were "good kids" who were pursuing their education and had a future.
"They didn't fight back," Nash said. "That's how innocent they were. They were like lambs."
For Cory Booker, Newark's mayor, the killings represent the lowest point of a 33-month-old administration that has made strides in transforming a city long viewed as a symbol of urban decay.
He credits "the heinous attack" with spurring the community activism and sense of purpose which helped trim the number of homicides to 11 from Jan. 1 to April 14. That compares with 25 homicides during the same period of 2007. The number of shooting victims fell to 68 from 91. Newark posted similar low numbers for shootings and homicides in 2008.
"It really rocked the city," Booker said. "Afterward, a lot of people just said enough is enough."
Newark is a different place now, says Clement Price, a Rutgers University historian and longtime city resident.
"Far too many people have been lost in the past without a sense of commemorative sensibility," Price said. "Life was cheap in Newark until three or four years ago."
The level of outrage among Newark's 280,000 residents over the slayings is so palpable that it will make seating an impartial jury difficult, according to attorney Mike Robbins, who is defending Gomez. He said Gomez was a witness to, not a participant in, the attack.
Newark Police Director Garry McCarthy said he's confident investigators arrested the right suspects.
Bradshaw is a religious man, but he lost faith for a time.
"I lost my closeness with God," Bradshaw said. "Every now and then I'm still bitter, 'cause, you know, 'How could you allow this to happen?"' He has yet to visit his son's grave.
"I can't really explain why," Bradshaw said. "I know I've got to go, but I'm just not that strong right now. Going to the cemetery is a totally different thing for me than going to these hearings."
When Bradshaw remembers his son, he said he sees a serious 8-year-old boy who was so infatuated with church that he harangued friends with powerful sermons during sleepovers. His son, who went by the nickname T.J., was already an ordained minister when he was killed and was trying to help the same kind of troubled young people who killed him, his father said.
The attack's sole survivor, now 21, is in protective state custody. She has undergone three surgeries and is preparing for a fourth.
Her father, who is not being identified to protect the identify of his daughter, said he hopes the next operation will restore her smile and allow the music major to play the saxophone again. She lost the hearing in one ear, he said, and has a temporary implant in one side of her jaw that will be replaced with something permanent during the next surgery.
"She's still living with it," the father said. "She's still recovering physically and emotionally."
He said her first surgery immediately after the attack lasted 14 hours. The second and third operations took eight hours each. The fourth surgery is going to mean another eight hours on the operating table, he said.
The young woman is dreading the prospect, he said.
"She used to love to have her photo taken, but she's not comfortable with it anymore," her father said. "My biggest concern is her safety. I just want her life to be as normal as possible. I don't know how that's going to happen, but it's what I want for her."
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