What if my dad had lived? How old would he be? I do it with my mother as well, who died when she was just 61. As for my dad, he was 81, and under the what-if scenario, he would have been 94.
And forever his birthday will also be tied to the day he died.
Because the 13th anniversary of that - is tomorrow.
So Irl Oscher Ritter is on my mind today. And tomorrow. And it's my back story - a slow, mournful drumbeat - to our newscast tonight.
We'll of course have any breaking news of the night, plus our investigative reporter Jim Hoffer takes a look at the real reason behind the delays in delivery and testing of new rail cars on Metro North's New Haven line.
And the reasons are troubling.
Plus, Meteorologist Lee Goldberg has his AccuWeather forecast, and Rob Powers with the night's sports. I hope you can join Sade Baderinwa and me, tonight at 11.