Couples practice peaceful divorce

October 18, 2011 2:08:49 PM PDT
When Jay Picket's 11-year marriage ended, his first concern was for his children.

"The breaking up of the family unit is very hard on kids," he said.

So Picket and his ex-wife decided to do something unusual in many divorces: keep the peace.

"I just know from my own kids, especially my son, it's huge to them to see their parents getting along," he said.

They do it by following a couple of rules: don't argue in front of the kids and never says bad things about the ex.

Cooperative co-parenting relationship, from couples who bury the hatchet, can have kids who actually turn out to be somewhat unaffected by divorce. It can help kids thrive and do very well. You really can't see a difference between them and kids who come from couples who don't divorce at all.

But that doesn't mean it's easy. Psychologists say that creating an amicable relationship with your former spouse means coming to terms with the hurt from the break up.

Picket says good advice is to stop trying to even the score, and forgive and move on. He believes that putting the children first is the best way to help them through the most difficult times.