The Big Wedding, Pain and Gain - Sandy Kenyon reviews

April 26, 2013 2:27:20 PM PDT
Two movies to warn you about this weekend. There's no love for "The Big Wedding." In a poll of critics, the comedy earned the lowest scores in recent memory and as far as I'm concerned "Pain and Gain" is even worse.

There's nothing you can gain by watching this much pain. Why would anyone except another idiot want to see a stupid movie about stupid bodybuilders who turn to crime so they can really mess up.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about Danny Lugo and his buddies and the fact they were real guys in Miami back in the 90's - jacked on steroids matters even less to me.

The real crime here is not the kidnapping or the killing. It's wasting the formidable talents of Mark Wahlberg and Anthony Mackie and watching the rock as a cocaine snorting 'Jesus freak' is downright upsetting.

He must have gotten tired playing the good guy in family pictures and there may be a way to have some fun at the expense of these losers, but director Michael Bay isn't talented enough to do that, so he gives us a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. The man needs to learn making mayhem is not the same as making movies.

The Big Wedding

Two parents who've been divorced for years are forced to appear like they are still married at "The Big Wedding." All for the sake of their adopted son because his birth mother is such a good Catholic.

The studio was so ashamed of it the film - it wasn't shown until just a few hours before it opened. And I can see why. Watching these big stars try to make this funny made me embarrassed for them.

I loathed this movie. Seeing so much talent go to waste is just so sad. Watching these great performers trying so hard to get laughs from such weak material is pathetic. Two words: stay away.

If you do go to that movie or any other this weekend, tweet me and tell me about them @sandykenyon7.