Review: 'The Family'

September 14, 2013 4:56:45 AM PDT
"The Family" is from Brooklyn - but they aren't worth knowing or even meeting.

A visit with your neighbors is going to be more interesting than watching Robert de Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer squander their talents trying to hold your attention for two hours.

De Niro plays Gio, who ratted out his friends in the mob. Now, he is called "Fred," and lives with his family in France under the Witness Protection Program.

Also starring is Tommy Lee Jones. Jones must have figured this lame comedy deserved only a fraction of his formidable skills. Thus, his performance never gets out of first gear which, come to think of it, is true of everyone here.

Dad, mom, son, and daughter all get into plenty of mischief. But only Michelle as mom shines.

A mother of two in real life, this is an unfortunate reminder we don't get to see her enough.

Leaving aside the pleasure of watching her, the viewer is left to ask: What is this movie? A dark comedy? Or a funny drama?

It is neither fish nor fowl.... just a fowl fish out of water that flops.

Sly references to de Niro's greatest films like "Goodfellas" only serve to make "The Family" seem even more stupid.

I took a fellow critic who is in her early 20's to see this movie and Katherine Toffali from "Reel Reviews" calls this film "sadly laughable" and urges you not to see it, even if, as we did, you can see it for free!