Josh Gordon: 'I'm over' being in limbo

ByElizabeth Merrill via ESPN logo
Saturday, September 6, 2014

CLEVELAND -- Banished Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon says he has no plans to sue the NFL and is moving forward regardless of whether the league decides to revamp its drug-testing policy.

"The whole being in limbo thing, I'm over it," Gordon said Friday. "I'm not waiting on the edge of my seat anymore."

Gordon, suspended for a year for a failed marijuana test, also said Friday that he voluntarily checked himself into a rehab clinic in July, though he doesn't consider himself an addict. Gordon said he spent two weeks at a clinic in Malibu, California, but had to leave before the 30-day program was over to get to training camp and prepare for his appeal.

The appeal failed last week, as the NFL announced that arbitrator Harold Henderson upheld Gordon's suspension. Gordon said he was leaving the Browns' facility when he heard the news. He said he failed a drug test this past winter because of secondhand smoke.

Gordon's "A" sample tested at 16 nanograms per milliliter, a bare one nanogram per milliliter above the 15-nanogram-per-milliliter threshold, while Gordon's "B" sample -- which theoretically should be consistent with the "A" sample, as it comes from the exact same specimen -- tested at 13.63 ng/ml, lower than the threshold, sources previously told ESPN.

Asked by on Friday to identify the last time he smoked marijuana, Gordon said that it's been a while.

"I think it was before I got into the league," he said. "I don't know."

Asked why he checked himself into rehab if he doesn't consider himself an addict, Gordon said, "Just to see. ... To seek out some help on decision-making. Not drug use or drug abuse, but decision-making. Life skills. How to be your own person and stuff like that."

Negotiations to revamp the league's performance-enhancing drug policy, and possibly implement HGH testing, have intensified, ESPN's Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen reported Thursday. The NFL and NFLPA are trying to come to an agreement before the start of Sunday's games.

Gordon said the reality of not playing for a year has "definitely hit me." Up until last week, he had held out hope that his suspension would be lowered to eight games.

He said his Browns teammates have texted him, asking how he's doing. He said he misses the structure of football, but plans to keep busy. He will do some work for a local car dealership, he said, because he's interested in cars and in possibly owning a dealership someday. He's also working out and plans to do some charity work in the community.

"People probably expect me to be hidden in a dark room somewhere, going crazy and never coming out," Gordon said. "That's definitely not going to happen. That's just not me.

"I plan to spend it staying busy, that's for sure. Staying positive and surrounding myself with positive, good people who are only here to support me. Nothing to tear me down negatively. Just carry on about life. There's definitely life outside of football."

Gordon confirmed that he did check into possibly playing in the CFL in the hours after he found out he lost his appeal. He can't play in the CFL because he's under contract with the Browns. He said money wasn't the reason he checked into it. He just wanted to stay in shape and stay active.

Gordon was suspended for two games in 2013 for testing positive for codeine. He maintains that he was on the codeine as prescribed medicine for strep throat. In July, Gordon was arrested in North Carolina for driving under the influence.

Related Video