New York City First Lady Chirlane McCray makes candid admissions about motherhood

NEW YORK CITY (WABC) -- A candid confession from New York City's First Lady about motherhood.

Chirlane McCray tells New York Magazine she looked for reasons not to spend time with daughter Chiara when she was first born.

This comes months after her 19-year old daughter went public with her battle with depression.

McCray says she loves Chiara but the transition to motherhood at age 40 was difficult.

"I was 40 years old. I had a life. Especially with Chiara. Will we feel guilt forevermore? Of course yes. But the truth is I could not spend every day with her. I didn't want to do that. I looked of all kinds of reasons not to do it," McCray said.

She also goes on to say she loves her daughter, loves her kids. These comments come just months after her daughter on YouTube talked about he struggles with clinical depression and drug and alcohol abuse. The mayor was quick to support his wife.

"I love my wife very deeply. She is an extraordinary mother," said de Blasio.

Clinical psychologist Rachel Busman loves McCray's honesty.

"Having mixed feelings or having ambivalence about becoming a mother, you know this isn't the easiest transition, those are very honest feelings. But I don't think it has anything to do necessarily with the child having depression later on," said Busman. "We don't want to forget about dads because they're obviously just as important" she said, added that it is a parenting conversation.