Miller did see his daughter on his actual birthday, April 7, but his family planned the celebration for Friday.
Judge Mary Gibbons Whipple in Morristown ruled "a birthday party happens every year. A wedding is once-in-a-lifetime."
The judge said the girl should have the experience of wearing a special dress and shoes and eating cake and hearing wedding music.
The judge reviewed e-mails between the parents and said it appeared they were using their daughter as "a bargaining chip" over changes each want to their divorce agreement.